here i m again... :)

Okay, now i m drawn to write and write.. hahaa.. i just need to pour out what's in my mind.. rather than letting the conversation swirling inside my head.. hmm i guess i just need to unload my burden.. well.. naturally i m introvert person..hm maybe not to my family, but to other people, coz i tend to stay quite and be a good listener.. i dont know why.. but it just happens. i wish that i were more talkative.. but i guess i m too shy to reveal my thoughts or even my personalities.. so i guess people will percieve me as .. boring... (?) hahah i dont know.. if i could get out of my body and see from the other side of me.. then i would know..

i dont even publish my facebook.. i just accept certain peoples who are really closed to me, and who knows me from years .. i only have less than 10 friends in my list haha. can you believe it??? maybe i would add more people into my list.. but let's see. i guess if i have more friends, i would not as expressive as i m now in my own facebook. it's kinda defeat the purpose of having FB account though, coz you are supposed to network, meaning spread out the net hahah.. well i dont really care..

well i make it as an avenue to write, i guess.. i m being assigned to write stupid manual for work. i m sure my boss knows how lousy i m in writing yet he gives me this kind of assignment. i should look at the bright side, at least i m being "forced" to write.. but on the other hand, the first thing crossing my mind is my boss deliberately wants me to fail in my working performance.. hm i dont know.. i'd like to think of him that way.. coz i think he is not as nice as he portrays to be in the office.. but well whatever that is. at least i learn how to write.. so i guess it is good, eh? hahaha..
well maybe it's just me being mean.. coz i m very disappointed i do not get promoted. i was okay when i knew my colleague get promoted, coz it is expected anyway. but what i did not expect, is my other friends from other department, all got promoted. i feel left out!! i always thought that at least i have friends in the same "boat" (or level).. but when they got promoted, i was devastated! i know their performances.. but i guess it's because i m in the "wrong" department. it is so high profile department, that people are sooo competitive. yeah i must admit i can not compete. it is just not my personality. i dont know how to shine, i dont know how to play office politics.. eventhough i have been years in the workforce. i should know. i couldnt just sit there and watch.. i need to do something. i need to do something to make me shine, to make people realize that i exist!!

now i become aggressive.. !! hahaa.