good day

Feel happy today.. i think I m always happy on Sunday. I love my choir. I have been joining this choir for more than 2 years. I can not thank God enough for putting me into this choir. It is a God's bless. All things that I wanted to do, I fulfilled it in this choir. Started from becoming a cantor, then lead the singing into the mike. I feel glad and proud when my voice is filling the whole church. I dont know whether I sound like Susan Boyle hahaha but I m confident that I sound good. I can sing well, I have clear voice and I know I can reach the high pitch. I really like that I slowly become shining. I m sick and tired of being the second class. I want to be the center, the spotlight. It is not just the narcissm, I m sure. But it's more for boosting my confident. The other thing that I havent fulfilled, is to lead the choir, to become the conductor. But I m pretty sure that time will come. God really listens to me when I pray to Him about getting this chance in choir. Well i know for some people, choir is "small" thing compared to the corporate world. But I m glad that i can start somewhere. I hope that I can transfer this confidence into corporate world or anything. I m building up my confidence slowy, so that I can socialize with new people, and dont feel so awkward every time I am in the new group.
Well, but the only thing that I notice, I got what i wanted not through my efforts. It's more because of the situation is in favor of you. Just like today, it was supposed to be my other choir member to sing in front of microphone. But since she was absent, I was asked to sing insted.. Well so one thing I need to learn, I need to work hard to get what I want. not just wait for the opportunity to knock my door. But i believe that God involves in this...

I did join the other choir when i first moved in this neighbourhood. But I did not like the choir master. he did not give a chance for me to sing the responsorial psalm. Seems like he wants the spotlight for himself. Well he did give me one chance, that was my first time singing infront of congegration. I thank him for the opportunity. But i still remember the organist was sooo sarcastic and rude when i asked her to adjust the tune for me. She scolded me instead of guiding me. It hurt me so much, especially it was my first time to sing in front at stage. After that, i notice that i was not given a chance to sing at all. So I quit the choir, and subsequently my choir member asked me to join my current choir since it was new choir.. and i have joined them ever since. I feel like home.. when sunday comes, i am so eager to go to the church and sing myself out to the Lord. I never had this kind of feeling before. I used to be slacking, but now i m more confident. I hope that I can continue to serve the Lord through singing. My goal is to play the organ to serve the Lord. Hopefully i can fulfill that. I m sure I can with God's guidance.